Easter Egg Hunt

I decided to do our own Easter Egg Hunt this year.  Last year we went to one and it was not worth it.  I debated about taking him over to Tauphaus Park (we've never been to that one) because at least they're divided into age groups.  I didn't want to fight for parking.  I had ordered a bountiful basket and I had to pick it up at the same time of the Easter Egg Hunt.  This is our little pathetic Easter Hunt.  Good thing Grandma Penny will be putting one on this year too.  Quinn had fun and we didn't have to worry about other kids.  I definitely prefer it this way.

Quinn was eating his candy while looking for more eggs.  He learned how to open the eggs.  He puts them on the ground and steps on it unitl it comes open.  He knows not to push too hard so he doesn't ruin what's inside.

Quinn finding an egg.

Paxton trying to get his cut of the goods.  I used a few real hard boiled eggs and Paxton bashed a few of them to pieces.

Quinn enjoying his spoils.  He got candy and some money.  He felt pretty rich with his few coins.

This is Daddy helping Paxton with the Easter Egg Hunt.

Coloring Eggs

This is the first time that we let Quinn color Easter Eggs. He was so cute and loved every moment of it.  He kept switching the eggs to different colors.  The more colors the eggs the better.    I'm not sure how many times each egg was put in and out of the dye.  Considering, I think they turned out really good.

 

Paxton was dying to get in on the action.  I had to have Daddy hold him.  The dye was sitting next to me.  He kept grabbing for the dye almost knocking it over.  We gave him those fake plastic eggs to play with.  That held him over for a while.  He even took a crayon and tried coloring on them.  Paxton got so rambunctious that one even fell on the floor.  Good thing they're hard boiled!

Want Some?

Paxton's 1-Year Pictures

These pictures were taken on March 13, 2013.

 

Paxton's Birthday Bash

I let Paxton open his present on his actual birthday since there really wasn't much of anything else going on. We had already celebrated earlier in the week at Leo's. We wanted to do something with my family so we were waiting to do cake and ice cream on Sunday.

Paxton had more fun with this little toy than he did his fisher price little people loop and swoops toy.  He kept taking the lid off and putting the shapes in and out of the box.  Quinn sure has been enjoying Paxton's present.  Paxton will get the hang of it in time.

Paxton kind of got cheated on his birthday cake.  I made a chocolate poke cake for everyone else.  Chocolate makes Paxton super gasy and I didn't want to be up with him all night.  So, I made him on of those microwave cakes.  I didn't want to have to make a whole cake for such a small amount.  I don't think that he really enjoyed it or knew what to think of it.  He didn't even get ice cream with his piece.  He stole some from Grandma so it's ok...I guess.

Paxton was hilarious with his card.  I think he was bored.  He kept gnawing on it and tearing pieces off.  When he would get a chunk he would hand me the piece.  I'm glad since I didn't have to fish it out.

Pudding art

We went over to a friend's house Sunday evening. The boys were so needy. We were trying to play a game but Quinn kept coming upstairs and Paxton was crying.  I went downstairs with Quinn to see if I could distract him long enough for him to be comfortable without needing mom.  Well, it didn't work.  I ended up having Paxton too.  I just watched Peter Pan with them while Mike and our friends finished their game.

 

I was feeling frazzled so I decided I wanted a treat to see if it would make me feel better.  (I normally don't resort to food to make me feel better.)  I wasn't sure what but we didn't have any sweets in the house.  So, I decided pudding sounded good.  Once it was made and I took a taste I decided I didn't want it.  I saved it for Quinn.

Here is his work of art.

I was surprised he didn't eat more of it. I guess playing in it was enough.

Celebrating Paxton's B-day at Leo's

We went to Leo's to celebrate Paxton's birthday for FHE. This is something that we normally don't do. We got a post card in the mail. We used the coupon for 10 free tokens, a free kids meal, and free playland play. We thought why not?

Of course, Quinn got to reap the benefits since Paxton is so young.  Paxton and Quinn are both free for the playland anyways.   

Quinn is hoping that he gets a card for his birthday too. 

Quinn had to watch the train the whole time...or as much as his parents would let him.  There wasn't a spot close to the train so this was as good as it gets.

Quinn loved the rides.  That is all that he wanted to do.  It was hard to get him down to the actual arcade.  Once he got down there he loved that too.  We didn't get any pictures of him playing the games.  Time is important!  You have to get as many tickets as possible, right?  Quinn did such a good job.  I wasn't sure if he would get the concept...but he did!

I wondered if Quinn would freak out once he got closer to the top and farther away from us.  He didn't.  He loved every minute he was in there. 

Even though Paxton can't do a whole lot, he still loved the playland.  He didn't mind all of the kids zooming past him.  He found a corner where you any person had no choice but to crawl.  There weren't a whole lot of kids playing where he was. 

To finish off his celebration, we had to have ice cream.  Paxton is thoroughly enjoying his!

He's been busy!

Now that Paxton can crawl he is into everything.  I kind of like it though.  I think it's cute.  It gets me to see what he's truly interested in.  He likes the weirdest things.

 

 

But..what isn't fun is him constantly pulling on my leg when he wants to be picked up.  I like that he can come to me, though.  That's nice!

So true!

I saw this on facebook and it is so true.  I read it and by the end I had tears in my eyes.  I have never regretted having my two boys.  They have made me better in so many ways.  I have learned so many things.  The only way to learn them and to experience these new joys of life is to become a mom. 

So, here it is... The author is unknown.

We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family." "We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"

"It will change your life," I say, carefull...y keeping my tone neutral.

"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."

But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.

I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.

I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her.

That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.

I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.

I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her
baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.

I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming
children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.

However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.

That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.

I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor.

My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.

I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child.

I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.

I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.

I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike.

I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time.

I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.

My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.

 

Ugh!

This has been a horrible winter and the longest ever! I am so tired and so exhausted.  Paxton has been sick for months.  I'm tired of dealing with it.  I feel like relief is around the corner and he just gets sick again...and again...and again.  When is the end coming?  Then, Quinn gets sick too...and me..and Mike.

I think it feels so long because it's been a constant year of something being wrong.  Paxton started out being colicky.  He has had the worst time teething.  Quinn never had this much difficulty so this is our first real experience with teething.  Paxton's teeth like to take their time coming in.  Quinn's came in all at once and he didn't get his first tooth until 10 months...compared to Paxton's coming at 5 months. Then, Paxton has gotten ear infection after ear infection.  Each time we go in the current ear infection is always worse than the last.  Our next step is for Paxton to get tubes.  We are hoping that the weather will start to take a turn for the better and we won't need to.  We are keeping our fingers crossed.  Paxton gets cold after cold.  Now, he has croup and has had it for weeks.  He also has symptoms for RSV.  The doctor didn't put him on breathing treatments right away but we went back in and both boys are on breathing treatments now.  Thanks goodness!

I know I need to think positively and I try to.  I think for the most part I have had a great attitude through the whole thing.  It's not like it's Paxton's fault for feeling miserable.  I feel for him.  I wish I could take it all away and do something that would actually help him.  I feel so helpless.  Medicine doesn't do much.  Paxton doesn't know what he wants.  He wants to be held but no he doesn't.  He wants to sleep but can't.  He does the only thing that he can...cry.  He cries and cries and cries.

I'm so tired.  All I want to do is sleep.  I need it so bad.  I'm desperate for it.  That's the one thing I can't have.  This is worse than having a newborn.  At least they nap...even though they wake every couple to few hours.  The worst is when I do actually get the opportunity to nap I can't sleep because I'm so exhausted.  When I get sleep deprived I go crazy.  My emotions are all out of whack.  I can't control how I feel...it takes a lot of effort.  I'm short tempered.  I feel like this is never going to end.  I think this is the most sleep deprived I've been.

That's when I really start praying.  I plead and beg for help.  I'm sobbing through my prayer.  Then, I proceed to comfort Paxton the best I can.

Things that comfort Paxton: pacing with him in the stroller, going for a drive (most of the time I'm not in any shape to drive), watching a baby show on Netflix, reading a story, chewing on a stuffed animal, having his blanket near his face, nursing, being rocked, eating, drinking, walking, playing with toys, having his head rubbed, playing with his hair, singing (sometimes), playing peekaboo, etc.  Not all of this work at the same time.  I usually have to go through the list and just guess.

I'm not complaining here.  I just need to put it down.  For some reason, writing about it helps.  It's like my way of releasing energy. 

I will admit that this had been super hard for me.  I feel like there is no one there to help me.  Everyone has their own trials to deal with and most everyone else has sick kids too.  I try to endure the best I can.  There are some days I wake and I'm so foggy from the lack of sleep.  It's so hard to function.  I can't think.  Kids are demanding my attention.  One morning I went to get some breakfast and through the whole meal I just sobbed.  I prayed that someone would come to check on me.  I kept looking out the window and no one came.  I called my visiting teachers but they didn't answer.  The neighbors weren't home.  My mom had to work.  Mike's parents are in the process of moving.  Mike had to work.  I just laid my head down on the table and tried to compose myself the best I could.

You know how they say to count your blessings and it helps?  Well, that's what I did.  It worked.  I still felt the same but saw things in a different light.  I knew things could be a lot worse.  I was appreciative for my trials being what they were and not going through something tragic.

Quinn noticed I was sad and he kept petting my head and giving me hugs to try to cheer me up.  It worked.  Quinn is the best boy ever.  He is so thoughtful and wants to help.  Quinn has been so good during this whole thing too.  He listens and tries his best to please me.  I try to interact with him when I can.  I feel bad..I feel like I'm neglecting him.

Mike has been so helpful.  Even though he has to work he gets up with them as much as he can but not too much so he can still function the next day at work.  He usually takes the first shift.  Paxton wakes about 11 and usually won't go back down until 2.  Once he falls asleep at 2 I get up with him after that.  This isn't every night but a lot of the time.  There are some nights he doesn't go to sleep until 5 or 6 AM.

I'm not trying to be negative.  This is what my life has been.  We are getting through it.  I can see the light at the end of the tunnel.  I want my life back.  Mike and I have both commented that we both feel so trapped.  We aren't able to do things due to the boys being sick.  When it does come we'll be so much more appreciative.